4th June 2020 marks our 4th wedding anniversary, I sometimes can’t believe we’ve been married 4 years. A lot of people say marriage doesn’t change a relationship but I definitely felt some changes when we got married. All positive actually, I just felt like we were more of a team. Maybe crazily as we’d been together for 12 years when we got married but it definitely felt a little differently.
4 years of marriage, a massive house renovation, a toddler and another baby on the way there’s lots I’ve learned about us, our relationship and life.
Marriage isn’t always easy, arguments happen and it’s hard not to dwell on them. But life can get pretty intense if you dwell for too long on one disagreement. As much as you may want to. With Danny I have definitely learnt to try and understand that how he deals with arguments is very different to how I do.
I am hot headed, have a crazy temper and love a good rant. Danny on the other hand is a lot calmer, rarely gets really angry and would prefer to just let things blow over. His unwillingness to engage in a massive argument is probably one of the reasons our relationship works so well. He will just let me rant on, then move on and let me calm down. Whilst it may have annoyed me at first, and sometimes still does understanding how your other half deals with arguments is a great lesson.
There will always be things that annoy you, no matter how long you’ve been together or how long you’ve been married. The way they load the dishwasher, their inability to put things in the right place, whatever it may be there will be some things you just can’t change. Accepting that and trying not to constantly nag makes a much happier home.
It is really important to find time for each other, since having babies this has got harder but is probably even more important.
It is so easy to get bogged down by the routine of everyday life and possibly even more so when you get married. It is important to have time together as a couple that is seperate to running the house and looking after children if you have them. Date nights, trying new activities whatever it may be just do things together.
There are lots that Danny & I have in common, a love of sport, nice food and good TV. But I also think it’s really important to remain seperate people when you get married or even when in a relationship.
It can be easy to do everything together all the time, but keeping a sense of yourself is so important. Make sure you have regular time to yourself, whether that is your own hobby, enjoying a mates night out or some time alone for a bit of self care. Don’t forget the person you were, you may change slightly and enjoy more things your partner likes that is natural but don’t dismiss everything you loved before.
Our wedding day was one of the best days of my life, it was everything we wanted it to be.
A chilled relaxed day, and we were able to exploit our natural talents when we organised it. Danny is creative, and came up with a lot of the original ideas and themes for the day, and I am Little Miss Organised so I did all the nitty gritty it was a team effort every step of the way and that is the best way for a marriage to be. If you always work to each others strengths, even when it comes to cleaning or household chores you won’t go far wrong.
What would you say has been the biggest lesson you’ve learnt in your marriage or relationship?